HEALTH UPDATE: Same except broken toe is a little sore, red and swollen. There is a black spot near the nail. Must be melanoma. Kidding not kidding.


I was not going to write today. Life has been too hectic. I wanted some time to be still. Time to be quiet. Peace. Spa day in almost every sense. Nope. The people have inspired me to write. So many people. “University of Wisconsin Comprehensive Cancer Center” labels the space I’m in. It is packed. It takes 9 minutes just to get to the check in desk. A man with his mask down below his nose stops right in front of me to read his papers he received from the desk. I’m instantly annoyed. Get your naked nose out of my space! I make a snarky move to distance myself. I’m waiting in line. Ooh. He’s so not happy. He barges in on the kind lady at the desk, slapping the paper down on the desk. “This isn’t my doctor”!!! Not minding one bit that the kind lady has already started to help another patient. He stands there anyways, waiting for immediate satisfaction to his concern, still with a naked nose. I’m wanting to set him straight. No. Silence! The issue is eventually solved. It’s my turn and all of a sudden I’m the only one at the desk.

I’m protective of the kind lady. She is my friend. She is one of many that takes care of me here. I don’t feel like a patient. It feels like being a senior in high school. I’ve been coming here for a long time. I know my way around. I actually just overheard an employee giving a patient the wrong directions to radiology! True story. She’s saying “first floor”! What? No it’s not. It’s 3rd floor. I’ve had enough ct scans to know where radiology is. They scan the directory by the elevator. Yep. Third floor. I wonder if the grumpy man with the naked nose is new here. I think it would be understandable to be grumpy as a newcomer. New diagnosis and not knowing how kind the people here will be. Yeah. I’m going with that.

I’m waiting to see my oncologist after a lovely time at the lab. My whiskey (takes the edge off), Rachel, handled my blood draw like a feather floating in the air. Smooth, peaceful and hopefully she found only the good blood. Next stop is the first floor to see my oncologist. Everyone seems to be behind schedule today. After checking in on my email I start to stalk mychart for my lab results. Who do I hear? Mr. naked nose!! I didn’t think it was relevant to mention in my original rant that he named my doctor as his “correct” doctor and that his appointment was NINE AM!! (He was kind of yelling). It’s 9:30 and he just got called back. I know my doctor can handle any anger, should issues arise. Back to results. Stable, stable, stable!

It’s my turn to see my oncologist. We laugh about my toe and that I caught a very mild sniffle from Willow. I mean seriously! I’m visiting her for my stage 3 inoperable pancreatic cancer and my main complaint is my TOE. Is this life of mine for real? How can I possibly be so incredibly lucky? Something has to be happening here that I haven’t yet figured out. I’m beginning to question if I’ve ever had cancer at all! Well, I have to answer that one. Yes, indeed I have cancer. How else could I have ever lost so much weight and have been brought to my knees in such an incredibly sick fashion? Not to mention the pretty pictures of my enormous tumor. The tumor monster. It’s just one of those days, like many, to be extra thankful. Don’t ask why. Just be thankful.

New family photos below! I’ll try to change the cover of this blog too but I always seem to mess it up. Photo credit goes to Amy Albrecht Photography out of Oregon, WI. Just a hop skip and a jump from Madison. These photos speak for themselves and I highly recommend Amy. THANK YOU Amy for helping us to preserve the memories of this amazing life.

Visit Amy at:

No words.
Yes, she has a rainbow tail!!
My Willow, my love!
For real.

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Wife, mother, cancer fighter and lover of life!

2 thoughts on “Smile!

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