Now

HEALTH UPDATE: It’s all true. Tumor monster has shrunk. New measurements are 11x11x15 cm. Clots and cancer in veins have also decreased in size. My hemoglobin has increased to 9.4. Still low but the first time I’ve been in the 9’s since I received two pints of blood. Glucose came in at 94. First normal level in probably 10 years. I won’t lie. When I heard the news on the phone that the tumor had shrunk, thoughts crossed my mind. They read the wrong scan. So sorry, it wasn’t your scan we reported to you. She meant to say it shrunk 3%, not 30%. It shrunk but the bad news is that it spread. Something had to be wrong. But it’s ALL RIGHT! I’m headed in the right direction as confirmed by my oncologist who gave me the two thumbs up at our brief visit on Wednesday. Everything went well at this appointment and we proceeded with immunotherapy treatment #3. I’m experiencing a side effect of a rash all over my back. I can handle scratching! Longer showers, more moisturizing. I can do this! I’m feeling so good! I might get my house organized after all!

Ramblings…..

All of your prayers and thoughts are working!!! Have you ever gave someone such hope before? Well now you have! I cannot thank you all enough for your prayers and support! I’m so very thankful. It’s so humbling.

The roller coaster continues. Your going to die. Your going to live. You might die. You might live. You might catch a virus and be gone in the blink of an eye. The treatment is working. It might stop working. Side effects may cause the trial to end. You could get treatment for months! Come to the hospital but we don’t really want you to come so you don’t catch the virus but you have to come. You have no choice if you want to fight this. You are on the brink of going down hill. You wake up fresh as a daisy! I could go on forever. Right now I’m at the top of the roller coaster hill. I can see the views for miles and miles. The world and life look spectacular. There is an exciting but nervous feeling inside. You know you are going to take a deep dive down this hill. I’ve done this before when I was first diagnosed. Just as fast as you hit bottom, you know you can soar up to the top! It’s a steep climb but you can do it. Before the climb, it’s time for the corkscrew. Not too high, not too low. Just FUN. I’m going to make the most of my time at the top. At the end of the ride you can take comfort knowing it will flatten out and you are safe. I’m looking forward to the end of this ride. I know it is likely far off into my future but I’ll wait. I can appreciate all that happens in between now and then. All along, this experience has taught me so much.

My drama meter is calm now. I wait for three weeks before my next treatment. I hope for no surprises. No complications would be nice. I’m planning on riding that corkscrew for the next 3 weeks, enjoying all life has to give…even in the middle of a pandemic. It’s so not easy. Everything is different and our lives are turned upside down…but one thing that can’t be taken away is the now. Right NOW we have each other! Right NOW is the time to make the most of every precious moment.

I love you all and wish you safety and happiness!