A letter to the tumor monster

HEALTH UPDATE: Doing well. Meeting with a surgeon about my esophagus issues this week. Scanxiety sets in for my 9 week scan next week. Insomnia is common these days. Constantly emotional about, well, everything. I’m okay.

Ramblings…

Dear Tumor Monster,

First of all, fuck you. You came into my life uninvited, you total piece of shit. I think back to the day I found out what you were made of. Acinar Cell Carcinoma. A cancer beyond evil. Little is known about you other than you are a killer. You are rare and you are enormous at 22 cm at the longest measure. You do not belong in my body, yet you found the space…squishing, pushing and torturing what was naturally meant to be in my body. You caused pain, fevers and confusion. Once we found out who you were, we set out to kill you. Chemo stopped you. Immunotherapy has decimated you.

All the while that I’ve hated you, I’ve also respected you. You are not one to mess with. You seek to destroy. So do I. I’ve had the best of the best in my corner to stop you. In case you didn’t get the memo, science is not your friend. Doctors, nurses….they are not your friend either. You’ve made some pretty determined enemies. They have used my body as a bomb to blow you up. I could not be more proud to do this. See, it’s not just a matter of survival. It is also about the future. What can we learn by you? We now know that you can be vulnerable. I will do everything in my power to share these results so that people in the future can find their tumor vulnerabilities too. It will take time but it will be worth it.

I’m not usually the threatening kind, but I think you should know…we are on to you. We are coming after you. I’m just the start. Brilliant researchers are catching up to you. So tell all your asshole friends that it won’t be long until cancer will be stopped. For good.

Adios, fuck face!