Week of me

HEALTH UPDATE: I’m stable and very much alive. Treatment went off without a hitch on Wednesday. I had one slightly elevated lab result that stood out because it has not been elevated since before I started immunotherapy. They say it’s ok and I’m ok but we know better. It will bother me until it goes back to normal. Otherwise, mental and physical health are much improved.

Ramblings…

I will be honest. My prior post was somewhat of a desperate time. So much worry. So many emotions. I needed time to process a lot of issues. Once again, time is on my side and I’m able to see more brightness than dark. Damn, that’s a good feeling.

My heart is filled with hope as I enter the week of me. I have a birthday coming up. Many years ago, Tom came up with a gift for me for each day during the week prior to my birthday. He covered all my senses with candles, my favorite foods and I can’t remember what else. Hey, it was probably 20 years ago, lol. The “week of me” was born. It’s the best family tradition ever because whoever has the birthday celebrates the week of them! After me, it will be “The week of NOLAN!!”, my nephew! It’s just fun. This world needs more fun!!

I’m actually not one to celebrate my birthday. I’m not sure why. I internalize my excitement. Completely!! I’m not overly excited but I know that on my birthday I will take a break from any and all pressure. It will be a day I let everything go. I’m going to eat the cake and love it. I don’t need the hoopla of going out on the town. A day of snuggles suits me fine. A small gathering with my family is more than I could ever dream of.

I reminisce birthdays past. Denise B is a friend from elementary school. Her birthday was right before mine. She had one of the best, most memorable birthday parties that I can remember. Why? Tacos. They served the best tacos I had ever had. I think I was in 4th grade give or take a few years. I remember that day. I was so happy! The leaves were everywhere. It was raining. The smells and feels if autumn were incredible. A few days later it was my birthday.

A few others stick out in no particular order. 10-10-10. How cool is it to have a birthday on 10-10-2010! I wasted no time to make a big deal out of it. I had a great party and raised some money for some wonderful charities. Oh, the love!!

Last year was very special. Sister Melanie and I had a very amazing party for two. She spared no expense. It was a hard year. We had been through so much together. The birthday really was worth celebrating as I had come so close to not having another birthday just months prior. I was emotionally overwhelmed. It was an amazing day.

Growing up in a large family, there were always chores to do. Not on your birthday!! Wahoooo! Sitting back and watching my siblings doing all the dishes was the best of all gifts! I won’t lie! We always got to pick our favorite dinner. Mine was spaghetti with Prego sauce out of the JAR!!! Lol! I was fascinated with it after growing up with homemade sauce from canned tomatoes from our garden. For the record, I’m back to the homemade sauce with straight up tomatoes and spices. Thanks mom!

Ahh. Another birthday that was not supposed to be. How do I comprehend thoughts about this? It’s pretty incredible. It’s all going too fast! The feeling of gratefulness is so overwhelming it instills the belief that every day is truly a gift. My focus will continue to be living life each and every day. There is no time to waste.