Scanxiety! Be GONE!

HEALTH UPDATE: Holding steady! Bum knee (injury, I believe), Shit for brains (menopause), tired and achy. So in other words, absolutely fabulous and SILL HERE!

Ramblings…

It’s scan day! I go in at 3:00 p.m. It’s a weird time of day for a scan. Usually I’m in bright and early. I am instructed to not eat or drink for four hours prior to the scan. It’s so easy in the morning. Yes! I miss my coffee dearly! But I really don’t usually eat early in the day so it’s a breeze. Today I flubbed up. I warmed up some bacon for Willow. We had BLTs last night with tomatoes from our garden! It was so incredibly incredible! My appreciation for the small, warm and bright red fruit was immense. We grew it all on our own! Imagine that! Can you? I sliced them up and like a mouse snitching a cheese crumb off the floor, I catch Willow behind the counter top snitching tomato slices! It was so cute but left our supply dangerously low! I had to put the remaining slices out of reach which is actually not easy to accomplish. She’s growing into such a big young lady! So anyways, I warmed up leftover bacon for Willow for lunch. I spotted a juicy crumb the size of a pea. Bam! In my mouth. Bacon! It. Was. Bacon. Oh shit! I’m not supposed to eat. Too late. So now I have my excuse if there is a new sighting in my results. It must be the bacon! Certainly not a chunk of deadly cancer!!! LOL!

I’m approaching this scan differently. I’m so incredibly tired of carrying my burden of worry. This time, I’m not worried. I’m a little mad! I’m mad about being worried time after time. I’m not going to do it this time. I’m tired of the process and I’m tired of the paralyzing fear of cancer gone wild. The scan and the results will not change my today. It will not change my tomorrow. It will not change my amazing family get together coming up the first week of August and it certainly will not change my over the edge experience on August 15th as I rappel over a 14 story to raise money for Gilda’s Club. Scanxiety! Be GONE! You lose today. I win!

Stay tuned for the real story. For now, this is what I’m going with.

Published by cathy@hellocancerfriends.com

Wife, mother, cancer fighter and lover of life!

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