HEALTH UPDATE: Same! Can you believe it? I can’t. I know how lucky I am.
I’m SO HAPPY! I should not feel this happy. Or should I? As I sit here at the UW Carbone Cancer Clinic waiting for results that dictate the direction my life is literally headed, I am filled with happiness. The sun is shining. The lake is mirroring the sun after another long cold winter. Flowers in bloom. Flowers!!! Important and special flowers. My lily of the valley plants that I planted last spring rose from Gods wonderful soil. They made it! Just like me. We made it!
Tomorrow is my freedom day. Freedom from the worries of being high risk and catching covid. The vaccine has given me peace while here at the hospital. My habits have not yet changed. I still will be very careful. The inner struggles have lessened though. First on my agenda is to see my mom. HUG MY MOM. I’d like to think the horrors of not hugging my mom since Christmas 2019 was just a bad dream. I can’t look back. I can only look forward. Our souls are intertwined so the void has been physical. Physical connection is important and I cannot wait to see her.
My fellow warriors here in the waiting area are assisted and accompanied by loved ones. My heart is seriously jumping out of my chest! Happiness! Companionship! Sister Melanie even sent a text suggesting she come along again once she’s fully vaccinated!! SPA DAY! We are getting the band back together, man!!!! It’s all coming together. Picture the scene. You have months to live. You miraculously exceed this but you can’t touch the ones you love. You need to hide from cancer and hide from covid. We ALL have been fighting. The light is getting brighter and brighter. It feel so warm and SO GOOD.
Should I keep going? I have happy guilt! I mean seriously, I don’t want to rub it in. However, it must be mentioned. People are so amazing. My podcast has brought to me more love and energy than I thought possible. It is my passion!! It’s all so real and so raw. My goal is this. If someone feels alone, they can come to me. To us. We are in this together. It helps my soul to let things out. I can only hope and pray that it will help others as well.
Moving on to more happiness. I’m clear for another treatment today. This time, the doctor came in and I hadn’t even stalked my labs yet!! It’s such an incredible mind game. My apparent tumor marker, lipase, was elevated 2 points. Normal range is 8-78. My result is 11. Last time it was 9. It’s still completely normal and at the lowest range of normal, yet it gives me pause and is a reminder that my miracles will likely not last forever. Commence incredible mind game. Not today. Life is way too good!!! Yessssss!!!!!
I know there are more happy things to report but I must move on to planning. I will be cooking my mother in-law a feast for Mother’s Day. She is a warrior. All alone for months on end while also fighting cancer. She is a tough lady. We will all rejoice as we are together enjoying all that this beautiful life has to offer.
Sending love and happiness to all!!