For now…

HEALTH UPDATE: Same! I’m feeling mostly well with the exception of joint pain. Pretty sure it’s arthritis….everywhere. Small price to pay. I’m scheduled for my next scan on November 16th. It will be a “triple slicer” scan. Crazy, right? I’ve contacted the talented Dr. Evans at Froedtert in Milwaukee to take a follow up peek at my guts to see what he thinks about my progress. He is requesting the triple slice scan compared to the double slice I usually have. My body will be scanned like an extra thin sliced spiral ham. Remember that knife commercial on tv (brother Bill!!!)?! Slices ham so thin your in-laws may never come back!! Ha!!

Ramblings….

So much is happening. I made my goal of survival until Election Day!!! For anyone that follows me on social media, I’m not too shy about my political beliefs. I disagree with almost everything our current president does and who he is as a person. My intensions are never to troll or harass my friends and family with our differences. I never feel ill will towards people with different opinions. I just have a hard time keeping quiet and out of the conversation. I also have a true need to understand others. This has been a stressful time for everyone. We are still waiting for an official winner to be called at this time. One thing I’ve learned looking at the results so far, we really need to come together and listen to each other. I pray for peace moving forward!

We’ve been so busy. School is wonderful but also hard. It’s such an adjustment. We are all working hard to navigate through the changes. Halloween was so much fun. We had an egg hunt at our dear little friends house followed by a treasure hunt at our house. We are beyond blessed to have our friends in our lives. We are like minded in regards to covid precautions. It gives us a sense of social normalcy that we’ve been craving. We love them dearly and my girl is beyond thrilled to have her fun play times.

I’m just crushing goals left and right. Lol. I survived until election and I also did the thriller dance on Halloween night! It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. It did not turn out as I expected. Good in some ways, awful in others. This dance was very difficult for me! Physically and mentally! I could not remember the moves and I would get dizzy or trip on most of the moves. Lol!! I knew early on that edits would need to be made. In the end, it was really fun getting dressed up and jumping around the best I could. I’m no Michael Jackson, that’s for sure…but I did what I set out to do. It felt so good!!

I’ve had an unsettled feeling lately. I can’t help but be reminded of November 16, 2019. Nearly one year ago. I’d had enough of feeling sick. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget where I was when I was told by the ER doctor that I had an enormous tumor in my spleen. Looking back it’s like I’m looking at someone else’s life. I can’t explain how I felt. At the time I didn’t know how serious it would turn out to be. so much has happened since that night. I’m feeling weird that I’m stuck on these memories lately. Why can’t I just move on?! I guess it’s just a big part of my life that I won’t soon forget. I’m just replaying it all in my mind over and over again. In a way it’s horrifying. In another way, I’m incredibly thankful for the tremendous progress I’ve made. I still can’t believe how lucky I am! I’ve been able to overcome for now.

“For now”. There is a constant doubt of continuation of life. I’m still hesitant to think my life will just continue on! My BFF sister Melanie and I were talking about my life expectancy mindset. She’s an amazing sound of reason. She is really confident and gently reminds me to look into my future years down the road. I just am not there. Does that matter? Am I supposed to put that positive energy into the universe so I make it on this earth longer? Do I ignore the horrific statistics for pancreatic cancer survival? Yes. I’m very different than most of the warriors given this dreadful disease. I’ve been blessed with a high mutational burden that opens a medical door to hopeful solutions but nothing is guaranteed. There are no answers.

For now, I see my life just day by day…which is why I might put up the Christmas tree any day now. Lol. Just kidding. We’ve been to Olin park for the holiday lights 4 times already and they are not yet turned on. We love to see the progress each day of the assembly of the magical display. This will be an amazing holiday season. So much to look forward to.

Sending love, blessings and safety to all!!