You can’t unsee this alert

HEALTH UPDATE: Long day yesterday. I crashed hard! Slept so good. Feeling pretty good today after chemo yesterday.


Before the breaking news occurred yesterday, I wanted to share thoughts about the Carbone Cancer Clinic at UW Hospital. My family is no stranger to this clinic. My Dad was treated there as was Tom’s brother. I was so scared. We never knew what to expect for my Dad from one appointment to the next in regards to his condition. I was always praying for good blood results. Praying for news that the drugs were still working. Ultimately the news was most unfortunate. As far as the process, it was almost always the same every single time. Check in. Sit and wait for labs to be drawn. After that, sit and wait to be called back. The nurse will then take vitals and ask many questions. Any pain today? How are you feeling? How were your side affects? Thank you, the doctor will be in shortly. Sweaty palms. Minutes feel like hours. Knock, knock….gasp. Here come the results whether we want them or not.

My appointments are the same with a big exception. I’m not fretting results. I don’t have a blood cancer like he did. I just have a few counts to look at. I feel so prepared for whatever comes my way. Bad news is expected and good news is treasured. I wonder if my dad was as nervous as I was for his appointments. He sure didn’t seem like it. He was a warrior made of steel and he never gave up. I miss him dearly.

Yesterday the clinic was packed. I had a late appointment that went very late into the evening. I spent a long time in the waiting room. Instead of burying my head into my phone, I spent a considerable time looking at people. All different people. Old. Young. In between. Jaw bones missing. Oxygen tanks. Lots of wheel chairs. Some patients you can tell are patients by their appearance. Others you can only tell because they are holding their beeper for their lab appointment. One young girl was by herself and she had blue hair. You could tell she loved life. I realized it had to be one of the most depressing places that I’ve been to. My hearts went out to all the patients and their families and caregivers. Please pray for all of the people affected with disease. Much love and appreciation!

Ok, in keeping up with sharing my experience and keeping things real, I want to share a photo of myself. Not a cute one. A real one. Is is of me with my tubes and hook ups for my home pump. I’m going to try and make you scroll in case you don’t want to see it. You can’t unsee it, LOL!!!! I respect that! My goal is to let people see what it looks like. It’s not scary to me. It certainly doesn’t hurt. I don’t even feel it. It’s okay and this is how we FIGHT!!












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Wife, mother, cancer fighter and lover of life!

11 thoughts on “You can’t unsee this alert

  1. God’s blessings to you today Cathy. I know the routine very well. I went with my dad to every appointment for his chemo and also went home with a pump which I disconnected for him on the third day. I too looked around to see all the people in the waiting room. Always counted my blessings. You look really good! We will all keep praying. Good news good news, good news is what we want to continue to hear about that dumb tumor is going to go away! Love you Cathy.😘


  2. You look strong, determined, and ready to fight! Thanks for sharing. I can’t begin to tell you how impressed I am with your attitude….Oh, wait, yes I can. Love you! Hang in there strong lady❤


  3. Your strength, faith, love and transparency are pretty darn awesome. You find love in places where most people fear to tread. It’s beautiful to see the glow of love that emanates from you. Sending more love and prayers your way, Cathy.


  4. Hello my sweet friend!! I just heard about your courageous battle from Nancy Nelson. Our prayers and hugs are with you every day!! You look absolutely beautiful!! Just know that you have prayer warriors all over the country!! Plus you have the most adorable cheerleader at home;)


  5. Much, much healing Love to you Cathy: Warrior Goddess!!! You may have Eeyore thoughts/ feelings.. you have All of our permission. Let us who Love you carry this burden for you.. for awhile❣️ You look Marvelous Darling…Just Marvelous 😘


  6. Thank you for sharing your story. You are beautiful. Keep fighting. Stay positive.
    You are so strong. You have such a wonderful way of expressing your thoughts and feelings.


  7. Cathy, YOU ARE A WARRIOR! When I see your picture…I see a woman with determination. I’m sure it can be totally exhausting but with Willow and Tom as your focus, the treatment your going through is worth everything.
    Your Dad was great. Tom and I would run into him at Woodmans. He never complained about having cancer and always asked about our lives. There’s definitely a huge hole in the Heussner clan since his passing. He is missed.
    Cathy, we think of you everyday and look forward to your posts. We continue to pray for more good news as you travel your healing journey. ❤️
    Love and hugs to you!
    Illana & Tom


  8. you are so beautiful inside and out – no matter how many tubes, no matter how uncomfortable you are. you are amazing.x0x0x0x0


  9. My sweet sister Cathy,
    You are an incredible human. So brave, strong, insightful and inspirational.
    Your little brother Bill


  10. Fight, fight, your are the best, I always have loved your soul and your fun caring personality. Prayers continue to be w you and your family, they got rain in Australia with lots of prayers..may we make you healthy again with all our prayers…we need you here to continue making earth a better place. Love you..Jan


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