HEALTH UPDATE: Still in remission! Wonky labs. Iron transfusion today.
This place! I’m here at Carbone today. The worst place. The best place. It brings me so many emotions!! I start at the lab. I notice they no longer have pagers. Masks are still mandatory. I get sucked in to all the memories of this place. The waiting room. How many accumulative hours have I been in the waiting room for the lab? Going all the way back to 2007 when I waited with my Dad to get his blood drawn, the vibe has not changed. At all.
I watch the people. Their eyes. Groups of two. Which person is the patient? Why do I wonder? I do not know. Maybe I want to see if they look like me. I want to know if they feel like me. How is their cancer journey going? Are they scared? I wish I could give them hope.
Some people are easy to spot as the patient. They might look like they are in pain. Maybe they are in a wheelchair, have oxygen or are bald. It’s not fair to make assumptions, but this is what is going through my head as I sit in this room.
Who is the caregiver? The support. The love. The hardest job ever. One man stuck out. Undeniable eyes of concern along with his long hand embracing his persons entire forearm as they waited for her name to be called. They both look so tired. Not just sleepy. Cancer tired. Tired of the fear, the worry. Please hang in there. I’m rooting for you!
I’ve been away from this place for some time now. My life has continued to sail. It’s incredible to me what an awakening coming back can bring. While I may not be fighting cancer now, I will forever fight for hope, love and comfort to be felt for all facing this harsh reality of cancer.
Keep the Faith 
What a beautiful testament to you as a person, Cathy! Your observations of others and what they are going through is so admirable. I wish each of those people in the waiting room could just talk to you for 2 minutes! If only they could be so lucky! I’m sure that those that could also see your eyes could feel your compassion and hope for them. I hope your transfusion went well, and gets everything where it needs to be in your body. Love you, my friend!
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You are an inspiration to all who know you or even those that don’t. Cathy, I can’t begin to imagine all of your emotions and feelings. I’m ssure you have gone through them all; hope, hate, wonder, questioning each and every step you have taken. God Bless you and all your loving caregivers. Keep the Faith.
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